Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We're too hungover to prance.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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