If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
