everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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