Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize