Those balls look pretty dangerous.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
