are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
