just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
