She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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