so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
