i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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