so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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