Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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