another moral hangover. fuck.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize