Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize