sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
