Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize