I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We left an ass print on the piano.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
