I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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