And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
