he puts the penis in happiness.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
