Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
