yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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