it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
