sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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