I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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