apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
