I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize