remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
