I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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