I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
