Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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