What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
