So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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