just tell him i said nine months
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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