dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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