i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
