Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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