Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
