I seem to have left my pride at pride
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
