Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
