Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
