two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
