I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
