At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
