I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
