I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
