it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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