Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize