You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
