Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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