I look better un-naked...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
