just tell him i said nine months
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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