Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
