dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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