Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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