Christians are straight up FREAKS
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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