The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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