I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
