nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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