Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
