apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
