This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
