I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
