Where did you get a picture of my penis
splinters make it hard to masturbate
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
