Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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