Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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