I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
