i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
